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How can I be a good bottom?

1) By being open-minded. Trust your domme and be willing to try new things. If you've never done something before, how do you know that you would not like it? Be willing to try things just because the Domme likes it.

2) By not trying to top from the bottom..not being a pushy sub. The next time you play, tell yourself that you are the top's property, that her will is yours, and that your deepest desire is to please Her. Before if you were mistakenly topping from the bottom and she did something you didn't like, you might have suggested they try it another way.

But now if you truly submit, she is doing exactly what she wants to be doing, and you are grateful she's doing it. Let go of your urges to be in control; surrender to your Mistress, and let Her have her way with you. I guarantee you will have a lot more fun than when you were trying to top from the bottom.

3) By always being honest, doing as told and being on time. And if you say that you're going to do something or be somewhere, then by all means keep your word. And if you did something wrong, fess up to it and take your punishment.

4) By being useful and unique. Show Her that you are different and have unique talents that could make her life easier.

5) Learn about Her. A good submissive just doesn't submit to anyone and everyone. Remember She is a person and so are you so in your first letter to her, do not just tell her that you want to belong to Her and do anything for her without even knowing Her. She won't take you seriously. She wants to know that you want to truly submit to Her because she's special and not because you have some fantasy image of a domme in your mind.

6) By being responsive. Relax and respond. Quite often a top will enjoy topping you because of your reactions--the way you wriggle, and squirm, and cry out. If you clench every muscle and strive to endure without giving any sign that you're feeling anything, your top may get frustrated with the lack of feedback. Let yourself feel. And don't hold your breath! Or rather, don't forget to breathe. (If, of course, you negotiated a "stoic endurance" scene, that's different. But don't feel you have to act that way. (I like it when subs struggle--they have a safe word if they need it.)

Of course, nothing is cut-and-dried; just because you're on the bottom doesn't mean you're a puppet. But there is a big difference between being open and communicative, and trying to force things in your preferred direction. A good bottom is one who is enthusiastic, devoted to his top's pleasure, willing to surrender to his top's will, open about his own desires (in a respectful manner, of course), and happy to be bottoming.

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